Every day that goes by is yet another day without one of our children in our arms and in our home. It is very difficult. So much so that Satan has been hard at work on me (greta). Unfortunately I have let him feed me the lies these past two weeks..... Lies such as God is not as powerful as you thought, God doesn't really care about you, God is at the mercy of the Kaz government, etc.... And its embarressing to admit, but I have believed these lies in the past couple of weeks. And by believing these lies, it has made me very down and without the joy that comes from Him.
Today's sermon was exactly what I needed to hear. Pastor Mark talked about how we become "confused"when we are being of little faith. He went on to read John 11 and the story of raising Lazarus from the dead. I have heard and read that story a million times, but TODAY was the day it was fresh to me. Jesus LOVED Lazarus, yet He purposely waited to raise Him from the dead. And I am like martha when she says, "But Lord, if you would have been here sooner he would not have died". Selah hasn't died, but I have that thought of "But, if you are truly all powerful then You would make her come home sooner".....Then the next lie that comes is "And because He chooses not to make it sooner it just shows that He doesn't care for me". This is the kind of nonsense that has been floating in my stupid brain for two weeks! I will have times when I think straight and get aligned with the truth, but then I fall back into again. Will you please pray for me on this? Another point in the sermon today was to expose our sins or unbelief so that others can pray for us...... its better to get it out than to hold it in.
His timing is not always our timing. Even though I may not understand why the court date is taking so long and why it will be even longer before she can come home, I have to trust that HE is ALL powerful and that HIS plan is WAY BETTER than mine! And just like Walter said in SS today, we may never know this side of Earth the reason for His plan or timing.
One more thing that I am learning is to love God for WHO HE IS, not what He can do for me.
Today is the first day I feel refreshed from this "stuff" in my head. God loves me (and you) SOOO much. He has so much Mercy. He has shown me SO much of Who He is (in the past 2 years) and yet I still have bouts of doubt and faithless moments. But the best part is He loves me still.
Thank you, Father, for Your unending love, grace, and mercy upon us. Help me in my faith. Strengthen me in Your Word! Keep Satan's lies OUT of my head and help me to be aware when they are attacking me, so that I can seek YOUR TRUTH only! amen
In Him,
greta
7 comments:
thanks for rolling back the "stone" . . .exposing our liabilities is the first step in finding clarity in confusion!
Linda and I are enjoying watching TEAM Owens following Christ in the journey called life!
hi greta! thank you so much for sharing your journey - your faith is amazing and encouraging! I too can't wait for Selah to come home (Lexi will just love to play with her)!
Oh Greta, you certainly have been on my heart and thoughts. I am so praying for you and for your court date and Selah coming home soon. I cannot imagine what you are going through, but glad you found a renewal in your journey in your walk with Jesus as He carries and walks you to your daughter. I think your struggles are natural, but thanks for sharing so transparently so that we can be there for you in prayer and support.
Beckie
Cling to the truth. And hang on tight to Him.
-cris
I'm praying for you, I totally understand what you mean in this post. It's so easy(and I hate that) to believe in those lies that Satan says to us in these moments. Praying you hear of your court date SOON.
Hugs-
Ann
Greta, I have been praying so hard for you!! Thank you for reminding me of God's grace and mercy for me and my family. He really does have everything under control and He knows the very day that our children will be in our arms. He loves them even more than we do. Thank you for your honesty. I love you! Jenn
Ooh Greta I know exactly how you feel and how "easy" it is to let evil overcome our thoughts. I truly am praying for you each night and await the day you are reunited with Selah. It will happen, He is in control!
Love,
Kim
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