"Wait"

Wait
by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? You say wait?" my indignant reply.
Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply.
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."

So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.

I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.

You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me

When darkness and silence are all you can see.
You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,

But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know Me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

Let the wait begin.... (Again!)

Today, the application was made to the judge for a court date, so our wait begins again.

Pray hard that the judge will set a court date for ASAP!

Technically, he has 30 days to just come up with a date, but I am hoping that given our circumstances, he will have some compassion.

Oh, we miss our daughter more than words can tell!

One more step closer......

Happy Easter and Happy 16 months Selah!

Happy Easter to you and your family! What a beautiful time of year for those of us who are Christ's Children! I have been in such awe this past week thinking on how much my Savior loves us that He would die for us. I feel so unworthy, yet so grateful beyond words.

Me and the boys made Easter cookies in the shape of a cross.... I used that time to talk with them about Easter and why we celebrate it.  (They now call Jesus their superhero!) LOL Such a boy thing! :) But, HE IS OUR SUPERHERO! He saves us, rescues us, loves us, and is ALWAYS there! 

Saturday we went to our Sunday School's Easter Egg Hunt. My favorite picture is of Gage, Seth, Eli, and Grayson. These 4 boys sure know how to wrestle! Whew! They would wear out ANY mother watching them!

And today we also are quietly celebrating Selah's 16th month of life. She turns 16 months today. Its even harder to not be with our daughter on this special day. Back in December, when we were with her, I had thought for sure she would be home on Easter.... But God has better plans- I know He does. 

I think about her almost ALL day long and every time I do, I pray for her protection, health, restful sleep and for her not to forget us. Even though I do trust God totally in this and I have never been closer to my Lord, I am soooo ready to have my baby with me. I can't really describe what it feels like to have your child NOT with you. The only feeling that comes to mind is helpless...I feel helpless that I am not able to care for her...I feel helpless not knowing how she is.... But, ultimately, God knows how she is and I KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT, that HE is answering my prayer of comforting her and loving her for me. I just know it. I am sure of it.

Gotta run.... we are having family over for some good ole hamburgers and hotdogs!  I am sure "normal" people are having Ham or something fancy like that, but we are CHEAP! :) LOL

Oh and I have got to get the balloons filled up with water for our traditional "water balloon FIGHT"...the best part is that this year my boys are old enough for me to launch a big one at them! yes!!!!!!! 

The Father's Hand

The Father's Hand

O blessed are the little hands

of children from all race

They're reaching out to understand

what life is like in this maze

Their hands touch yours and my life

as they seek to find their way

They get confused by all the strife

as this world is in disarray

Reaching out when they're in pain

to be comforted by a stronger hand

leading the child to a higher plain

of God's peace, much needed in this land

Even so must we reach out to God

for the answers to our life's need

The soul may be the target of a plot

but God's hand will keep us from defeat

Our enemies are not up to par

against the power of our Lord

Satan may drag us into war

but God's victory we can afford

The Father's hand is always here

to lead His children on their way

His hand protects at front and rear

as we walk, profess His word and pray

His hand will touch us when we're sick

according to His precious word

We'll sense the Holy Spirit's click

as we seek direction of the Lord

There is pleasure in the touch of His hand

It brings deliverance, salvation, and gladness

A stroke of love, no one can comprehend

restores the soul from sadness

When you put your hand in God's care

He'll hold you tight, as you're getting low

He'll take you out of Satan's snare

The Father's hand will never let you go!

"Even there shall Your Hand lead me, and Your right hand will hold me." 

Psalm 139:10

Small things

I am in the time of my life right now with my boys. They are sooo much fun. God has given me so many great things in my life. And I have learned through Him that I need to let Him handle the struggles with the adoption and in the meantime, savor every minute I have with my two boys! And oh Yes I am!!!! I thank God for His mercy and grace. 

To understand better, let me explain a little better...... With all that we have gone through in fighting for our daughter, I have had little patience- because of pure emotional and spiritual exhaustion! And guess who gets the effects? Yep- my children. So any little thing would just irritate me to death and then the big things would REALLY irritate me.  And several nights I would go to bed feeling so guilty and sad. One night I was angry with God and I told him! I told Him that if He would just bring Selah home.....THEN I would be a good Mom again..... Ahhh....isn't it just grand when we tell HIM what we need and what would make us all better??? ha, ha....So anyway, He oh so gently reminded me that I am doing this to myself. He said He had the Selah stuff all taken care of and knows ALL things. But, I need to savor the blessings that HE has already placed in my possession and to take very good care of them. My children are a Huge Blessing and a Huge Calling on my life. Wow! So cool.  So, by His grace and mercy I am having the time of my life with two little boys named Seth and Gage.

Thank you Lord for your continual care and concern for the "small" things in life- like a mother's patience level! :)