** This post is not so cheery, be warned. I am just being open and honest**
I am tired. I am just so very tired of this whole mess. I feel like this will never end. I can't give up because I can't leave my daughter there, but there are so many days when I just want to give up. She consumes my thoughts so much during the day. I wonder what she is doing. I feel bad that she spent time with us only for us to leave her....for a LONG time. I feel that this situation is so hopeless when you are dealing with an evil person who is doing everything in their power to prevent adoptions from happening. Then I know that there is hope in God.....But, still waiting. I guess that is just me wanting the end result NOW. I know that I have experienced God's Hope, Peace, Comfort, and Love in ways that I never could have imagined before..... But, I am tired. I am stomping my feet because it wasn't supposed to happen like this. Other families around me are having successful adoptions from Kaz, and then there is us. I wish my daughter could have been in a more "adoption friendly city" of Kaz instead of the one she is in. But, God knew that all along. God knew He was going to lead us there without us knowing all this nasty stuff about it. He knew all along that we would not have gone there on our own, so He needed to get us there "by accident". He did. And we met our daughter and fell in love instantly! But, this fight to bring her home is exhausting. I just wish I could see some light at the end of this tunnel. I am scared to think how much longer this may be. I missed her first birthday, will I have to miss her 2nd birthday too? Probably. This just sucks.
About Me
- greta
- We are a family of four, ready to be a family of FIVE! God called us to this great adventure in the beginning of 2006. Throughout the past three years, God has been glorified throughout this entire adoption process! He gets all the credit in everything from providing the expenses to this costly adoption... all the way to leading us to the specific girl, SELAH, He has waiting for us in a country that HE specifically appointed us to go to. His ways are better than our ways! I have never experienced God more than through this process!!! I have learned that if I leave my comfort zone to do what He has asked, then all that will come is "abundant life". And sometimes the "abundant life" comes with major struggles. We would have not planned for it to go the way it has, but there have been treasures along the way, that we wouldn't have wanted to miss! We have many blessings that have come from this adventure and we aren't even done yet!!!! We hope that you will follow us in this journey towards bringing our daughter, Selah, home from Kazakhstan.
6 comments:
Greta, I can't imagine what you are going through. You are right, this totally sucks & even though we know God has a plan..it still sucks. Is there anything we as AP's can do(email the Embassy or something) to help? Just know I am still thinking & praying for you.
Hugs-
Ann
It totally sucks, its not fair, it is the worst thing I can imagine going through. I am crying for you now and pray for you each and every night. I wish I had some great words for you but as I have said, we will not stop praying until Selah is in your arms forever.
Love you,
Kim
I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth
Greta,
Your strength and determintation are fantastic. I don't know that I could fight as hard and as long as you! Your a right God has a bigger plan, lean on him he will bring you peace in whatever decision you make. Just know that we are all here for you NO MATTER WHAT you decide! In the end it will all make sense! I know that some days are harder than the last, if you ever need to talk or a shoulder to cry on please do not hesitate to call me!! I love you guys and will get down on my knees for Selah and your family! I know that she is the most prayed for little Kaz girl ever! My tears are flowing and my heart hurts for you. Please let it out it is the only way to truly get through it!! We are here for you!
Love you, Stacy
We pray every night for your situation. sending you big hugs and kisses.
Yep, it sucks. Aaron & I both can't believe that you guys are in the middle of this and Selah isn't with you. You are strong and have the faith to push through. You have put up a long & weary fight - I pray that light is coming soon. Our hearts ache for you and our prayers do not cease.
Yes, God knew...EVERYTHING.
And He knows when and how this whole ordeal is going to end.
And He knows exactly what He is going to accomplish in you in the waiting.
And He knows the waiting is hard for you.
And He knows when you are tired and upset and stomping your feet, and wanting to trust but wanting it to all be over, too.
He knows it all, Greta. And He loves you abundantly.
He'll bring her home. And I'll not stop praying until He does it!
Love you,
Karen
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